MY One Thousand Gifts

Inspired by an often inspiring friend, I'm picking up the book, One Thousand Gifts, by Ann Voskamp, again. I read it the first time a few years ago and I fell in love with the content and style. The choice to re-read it was an easy one. Not an easy choice, was deciding to accept the challenge to make my own list of 1000 gifts. Mostly because a simple notebook and pencil don't seem like enough for this task. I've decided to blog along the way. I've also agreed (with myself) not to put too much pressure on myself to finish this list during the month of November. I'll finish when I finish. I welcome you to follow along, share your own gifts, or just leave a comment. 

If you want to see Just the List, Nothing But the List you can.


November 6, 2014
"But, someone, please give me -- who is born again but still so much in need of being born anew -- give me the details of how to live in the waiting cocoon before the forever begins?...How do we live fully so we are fully ready to die?" 
These are the words that most stood out to me yesterday. Yes, I am born again, but I don't really feel born ANEW most of the time. I feel like the same me who just knows better. You know how what I mean? Like, when you're a child and your parents say, "You know better than that," with a look of stern disapproval. I don't want to just behave better for God. I desire a closer relationship with Him, but yet not in the way I've longed for a closer relationship with others. Think back to when you first fell in love. From the moment you wake up, all you can think about is, "How can I get closer to ____? When will I see _____? What can I do for ___?" As I consider gratitude and being in THIS moment, really LIVING in this moment, I want to feel this kind of newness for God. I want to go back and fill in His name in all those blanks everyday.

November 3, 2014
"Our fall was, has always been, and always will be, that we aren't satisfied in God and what He gives. We hunger for something more, something other."
Although I really feel like I have a handle on my wants, I see this so much in my family. We aren't satisfied with enough, we want more. The STUFF in our home is evident of that longing. We see what others wear, the vacations they take, the restaurants they frequent and all of a sudden, more than enough is no longer enough. What God has provided for this family is waaaay more than enough. He's given us enough to give away to those who don't have enough. Through us, He can meet their needs. My take away for today is that enough is enough. No excess. No extra. Be satisfied because God is SO satisfying. 

Just the List, Nothing But the List

Inspired by One Thousand Gifts, by Ann Voskamp. You can read my post about the list HERE, plus my lessons from the book. 
1. Mornings, even with the rushing before school, I'd rather have this time, than not.
2. These girls, even with the bickering, I'd rather have them and hear this, than not.
3. News. Local or national coverage reminds me that my life is mostly AWESOME.
4. Morning sunrise when it meets interesting clouds.
5. Easy access to medical care.
6. Working from home, but blogging instead.
7. Slippers.
8. Being a grandma (DD, in my case) way before my time.
9. Being married to very handsome grandpa. (Papa John)
10. My first mammogram this year and it was free and clear. Have you had yours?

11. Hot tea with honey.
12. Good reasons to stay up too late.
13. More than one car.
14. Opportunities for my husband to do what he loves AND make some much needed extra money.
15. Friends that will work for creamer. You know who you are. ;)
16. Fresh boxes of possibility and FUN.
17. Children who are capable of making their own breakfast and packing their own lunch.
18. Being asked to "decorate" a toaster strudel. While they can do it themselves, it seems it is a treat if I write something fancy and draw a heart of two. I'm still needed.
19. New crayons. And a clean, fresh book.
20. Empty spaces.

21. My husband snoring next to me. Not the snoring as much as the next to me, but I'll take it. Because he's faithfully here instead of somewhere else.
22. Throat lozenges and tissues.
23. Pretty, painted nails.
24. A dry home.
25. The smell of sausage cooking.
26. Or bacon. I really like both. But today it is sausage.
27. Looking at old pictures. 
28. This foot stool in my living room that came from Grandma Mullikin's house and is probably older than I am.
29. The quiet before they all wake up in the morning and peace after bedtime.
30. The chaos between those two times. Admittedly, easier to be thankful for when not in progress.

31. A husband who will do anything for me. Anything.
32. Watching my girls walk into school. Shoulder to shoulder. So close.
33. Driving through town late. Really late. When parking lots are empty and most things are closed. Peace.
34. Absolute silence. No music or tv. No electronic device hum.
35. Blankets right out of the dryer.
36. Kids that show you how to love. Unconditionally.
37. New recipes. Especially soup.
38. A husband who cooks. Really. Well.
39. When that daily devotion REALLY hits home.
40. Things checked off a to do list.

41. Friends that miss me.
42. Kids that walk through the door of my store and gleefully proclaim it to be the " best place EVER!"
43. Kids that ask really good questions.
44. Adults that ask really good questions.
45. That rare day when you can sleep in.
46. A husband that only knows how to work hard.
47. Moscato.
48. GREAT employees. They are giving with their time and their talents. Far exceeding what they are paid to do.
49. An entire day devoted to thankfulness. At home. With people I don't spend nearly enough time with.
50. The anticipation of something big.

Because I Have To

I love YOU. That's right. YOU. Whoever you are. My child, husband, parent or sibling. My neighbor, business associate, former college roommate, high school acquaintance or Facebook friend. I really do LOVE you. Why? Why do I feel so strongly about YOU? 
Because I have to. I am commanded to.
Because first, I was shown a love I didn't deserve. Because I have been saved by this love, I'm obligated to love others and show that love. This isn't an easy kind of love. It is the kind of love that is a choice. I choose LOVE.

You disappointed me. 

I LOVE you.
You stole from me. 

I LOVE you.
You hurt my feelings. 

I LOVE you.
You used me. 

I LOVE you.
You were mean to my child. 

I LOVE you.
You took my parking place, cut me off, drove to slow in front of me, and then YOU flipped me off*. I LOVE you.

But WHY? Not because it is easy or even because I really WANT to. Because God told me to and Jesus showed me how. FIRST, He showed me. Even while I was doing all those things I listed above to YOU, He was loving and DYING for little ol' sinful me. 
I LOVE YOU. I thought it was time I told you.

*I love you because I know you really had to poop. (sorry...slightly distasteful, inside joke. Thanks, CD for that sure fire way to bring love to an angry situation.)

Yeah, What He Said

Wow, it has been a while since I wrote here. I have so many other things I want to do. Need to do. Should do. I was going to make a simple Facebook post, but then I realized it wouldn't be simple. It would be one of those LOOONGG posts that make me roll my eyes. Some of the people I love most in this world write reeaaallly long posts. You know who you are. Don't change a bit. 
I was inspired to write this morning after reading the first few chapters of 1 Timothy. Specifically, 1 Timothy 1:15-16. When I read these words, I was reminded that Paul's testimony is MY testimony. Let's be clear. I'm no Paul. I've never been on a mission trip. I've never gone downtown to feed the homeless. And don't you even think about asking me to evangelize to the tube top wearing, parrot carrying, cigarette smoking sinners at the county fair. NO. Way. But still, he said this:

15 Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. 16 But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience as an example for those who would believe in Him and receive eternal life. (NIV, emphasis all mine.)

 So, why am I writing today? Diverging from my precious to do list? Because if you know me now, then most of my Facebook posts make sense and and you probably never say, "Really? SHE said that. What a hypocrite." You wouldn't say that, because you know the reformed me. While still imperfect and often hard to love, I'm basically a decent person. I'm a faithful wife and I love my kids. All EIGHT of them. Most of the time. We go to church. We donate money. We take in family members that others might turn away. Decent, right? 
BUT, if you knew me before, you might see some of my Bible quoting, Jesus-y posts as a little hard to believe. If you do, I don't blame you. Truly. I remember that old me. "The worst of sinners" is a fair statement, but it isn't the point. I'm a sinner. You're a sinner. The degree of our sin (past or present) isn't really an issue. What is the point? "Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners". Thank you, Jesus, for being immensely patient with me through my teens and early twenties. Immensely. Patient. I am writing today to say to those who haven't FULLY accepted the truth of the gospel, let me be an example. You KNEW me. You saw my behavior. I've ALWAYS believed in God and I've always understood why Jesus came. Not until my early thirties did I FULLY accept the TRUTH of His saving grace and the gift of eternal life. 
If you haven't accepted this truth, but think you might want to, then send me a message. I'm an open book and I'm happy to tell you how Jesus turned me from the "worst of sinners" into just your average, run of the mill, saved-by-grace sinner.

An Open Invitation

If you know me, you know that although I am a fan of the written word, I seldom take the time to read anymore. I'd love to tell you I read my Bible daily, but I don't. I'd love to tell you I even read a devotional daily, but I don't. I will read in preparation for our small group Bible study or if I'm participating in a women's book study, but if I'm being honest, that is about all I'm willing to do right now. I'd blame it on the hectic nature of my everyday life, but since I'm being honest, I'll  just chalk it up to willingness to put other things aside and misplaced priorities.  Having said all that, the impetus for this post was a book I just finished reading, The Grace of God, by Andy Stanley.   Like you, I have a to-do list for today, so I'm just going to cut to the chase. As I finished up this book today, I prayed that what I had just read would really sink into my heart. GRACE...it is such a tricky subject, or is it? The answer is actually, no, it is not. But we, churchy people, make it so tricky sometimes. We are supposed to get it and share it with non-churchy people, but we don't. We don't get it and we don't share it. In my case, I don't even share it with my own children sometimes. Example: I implied that because they didn't want to come to church this past Friday night, Good Friday, to reflect and contemplate on the tremendous sacrifice Jesus made for us, that I was for sure disappointed and there was a chance that Jesus might be disappointed in them too. "And, by the way, don't be surprised if you don't get an Easter basket as a result." As I confess this to you, reader, please know that I am fully aware of the absurdity of it all.
   What I didn't offer too them, I want to share with you. God's grace is for ALL of us. Me, you, my children (even the teenage ones), my siblings, my parents, that unfriendly cashier...ALL OF US. Grace is so simple. God's Riches At Christ's Expense. That's it. You receive grace when you acknowledge what Christ did for us. All of us. "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8 He didn't clean us up, put some fancy clothes on us, wash out our mouths with soap AND THEN die for us, He did it "while we were still sinners."
   Some of you are reading this and still thinking, "maybe for you, but not for me. Church would catch fire if I showed up." But that just isn't true. Besides, I'm not even talking about CHURCH. I'm talking about GRACE. Two entirely different topics for sure! MY church might not be for you (sorry, church), but grace is. Grace is for you even if you have ever:

• Lied. Lied to your parents, your spouse, your boss, your children, yourself...
• Cheated. Cheated on a test, on your spouse, on a diet...
• Stolen. Stolen from your family, your friends, your place of employment...
• Abused. Abused drugs, abused your spouse, your children, yourself...

Clearly, this list isn't complete. We do most of this stuff (and more) in one form or another on a daily basis. But, none-the-less, God offers His GRACE to those who are willing to accept it.
Are you?
Because if you'd like to and haven't, I'd be happy to share more of what I know (which isn't much, so it won't take long). And please don't hesitate to contact me because you are afraid I'll try to rope you into coming to my church.  I will certainly extend that invitation, BUT, this isn't about an invitation to church.  It is about an invitation to CHRIST. It is about an invitation to GRACE. When you know what His grace is, I can't imagine not accepting the invitation.
You're invited:
Date: Today, whatever day today happens to be
Time: Any time, day or night
Place: YOUR heart
RSVP: You may contact God directly in prayer or if you'd like to ask me a few more questions first, email will work.
Directions: I'm horrible at directions, so you better go here for the most accurate advice.

  If you just need a jumping off point, consider starting with Luke 15 which has some simple (don't complicate them with a lot of thought) parables about how God feels about the lost (that's us). Before you get caught up in your busy day of check lists, make a choice to add "accept God's free gift of grace" to your to-do list. If you've already accepted this gift, I'll ask you to do two things: 1. SHARE it with someone else. 2. When you're beating yourself up over lying to kids about a big, fake bunny or cheating on your diet...extend yourself a little GRACE.

"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—  not by works, so that no one can boast." Ephesians 2:8-9

3/26/13 Update: Not that I've "earned" any more Grace than before, but I am pleased to say that I have taken up the practice of reading through the New Testament (using a reading plan from BibleGateway.com)  with my girls each night before bed. When we miss a night, we don't feel bad, we just make it up. We know God will honor our efforts over the year. Time VERY well spent!

The Things We Say...Or Don't.

Typically I have some kind of New Year's Resolution. This year, I don't. I could do the one word thing again, but unless I go back and check my Facebook records, I don't even know what my 2011 word was. Makes me a little sad, another failed initiative...

This blog post actually started several months ago, but it just wasn't shaping up the way I wanted it to. Funny, at a time of year when most everyone I know is trying to "shape up" in a different sort of way, I finally want to shape up in a way that really matters. Don't get me wrong, I'll be working on getting fit just like everyone else. But what is really out of shape (and has been for a long time) is my heart and often, my tongue as well.

Instead of focusing on one word, I'm going to try to focus on ALL of them. Both said and unsaid, because actions often DO speak louder than words. (Cliches exist for a reason.) What follows are my (incomplete) lists of things I don't say enough and things I wish I didn't say. Plus a few scriptures to help guide my way. Because really, is there any better advice?

Things I Don't Say Enough:Please. Thank you. I trust you. I was wrong. I'm sorry. I forgive you. I love you.

Things I wish I didn't say (be it through actual words or actions):
Your effort wasn't enough. YOU aren't good enough. I'm always right. My time is more valuable than yours. My needs are more important than yours. My love is conditional.

Good words and sound advice:

Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law. The commandments, “You shall not commit adultery,” “You shall not murder,” “You shall not steal,” “You shall not covet,” and whatever other command there may be, are summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law. Romans 13:8-10

They sharpen their tongues like swords and aim cruel words like deadly arrows. Psalm 64:3

The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Proverbs 12:18

and finally...

She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
Proverbs 31:26

How HE Loves Us

As Valentine's day approaches it makes me think of love. Not the jewelry, candy, and flower buying kind of love, but real, deep, true, ABIDING love. Thankfully, I have a fantastic husband. I am blessed beyond measure that he loves me. But this isn't even about that kind of love. This is about the kind of love that I was actually searching for when I found him (my husband) and then together we found the truest form of love in HIM. And that is the love I had been searching for my whole life.
Let me preface this next part by saying I have a wonderful, loving, earthly father. I couldn't have asked for a better one. And I always knew he loved me, he told me all the time. But what I didn't get from him was that affirmation that I was cherished and beautiful and worthy. Beginning when I was a teenager I sought proof of these qualities in others, other young men that is. I mistakenly confused physical intimacy with love. I believed that I could earn love and I could be duped into believing just about anything if given just the right compliment. Honestly, my relationship with John even started the same way. I was running from one failing relationship to one that gave me butterflies (again). Despite the fact that our relationship didn't begin under ideal circumstances, God knew something we didn't. And like with many of our missteps, He turns them into a success and reveals His glory.
When I first heard the song How He Loves performed by David Crowder Band I instantly liked it. Then, in one quiet moment, when I really listened to the words and applied them to my life, it changed me. I had that same overwhelming feeling I had as a giddy school girl in anticipation of my first kiss from a boy I thought I loved (desperately). The same more grown up and realistic feeling I had on my wedding day just before I walked down the isle anticipating being seen by the man I would spend the rest of my life with. Girls, you know this feeling...the butterflies in your stomach, an anxious ache from deep with in, it makes you want to giggle and cry all at the same time. Play the video and REALLY listen if you haven't before. I chose this version with Kim Walker because hearing the song in a woman's voice makes me even more certain of the intimate, deep, loving relationship I have with my God and my Saviour. Plus, her voice is just plain cool.

"He is jealous for me. Loves like a hurricane, I am tree. Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy."

Seriously? HE is jealous for me? I've had possessive boyfriends before and in an unhealthy way, that sort of felt right. But here, the King of Kings is jealous for my time and adoration. Unbelievable, but true. And to know with every ounce of my being that He looks upon me with true affection and unsurpassable love...I'm blown away.

"If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking.So Heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss,and my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets,When I think about, the way…"

Drowning never seemed so pleasurable and I wouldn't dream of coming up for air. Regrets? Sure, I'm not proud of some of my choices, buy why bother maintaining them? My true love doesn't.

Do you know this kind of love? If you don't, you haven't met the person you belong to yet and you haven't truly encountered God yet either. The really beautiful part? All you have to do is ask Him...Be mine? No yucky candy hearts or expensive flowers required. Are you still searching? Look no further than your Saviour to be your PERFECT Valentine.

The Way Out

Unworthy. . .

This simple word doesn't even begin to describe the rush of emotions I feel as I watch Passion of the Christ. John and I watched it a few years ago and then again tonight. I cry for Jesus and for Mary and for his followers. I want to throw up as I watch the betrayal, torture, and abuse he suffers. I find myself hoping he finds a way out--the way you hope for any hero in a movie. And then I remind myself that this isn't just any hero. This is THE hero of all heroes. Because there wasn't a way out for Jesus, I have a way out.

Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life.

No one comes to the Father except through me."~John 14:6

(emphasis mine)

Because of that betrayal, torture, and abuse--I have a way out and so do you. And we are not worthy. We are completely and utterly unworthy, but covered by HIS GRACE. Thank you, Jesus.

Word-Free Wednesday

Cats. . .What are you gonna do with 'em?

Guard Kitty

Fighting a bag

Is it my turn yet?

Can somebody roll for me?

Something Fun for Sunday

I know there are TONS of ways to listen to free music online, but my good friend (and boss) Julie Wells just shared a great one with me. I am so hooked on PANDORA internet radio. I love how simple it is to hear good music and get turned on to new music that it will select based on what you tell it you like. You can make up different stations--I have a contemporary Christian one, a Cool Chicks one (currently playing), an 80's one. . . I love listening to this while I do my various computer tasks. Plus, when the girls wander by, they shake their little booties to whatever is playing and that always makes me smile! Maybe next time I'll even get up and do a little booty shakin' myself! I am, after all, trying to be/have more fun!
Hope you enjoy it! You can always count on the super cool Mrs. Wells to introduce you to something new--sushi, facebook, and now this. . .Thanks!

P.S. I love Jewel! That is why you see her pic!

t.m.i. Tuesday

The Truth About Me According to My Family
What started out as a silly little survey everyone was posting on Facebook turned out to be very revealing. Who'd have thunk it? My initial thought was to ask my youngest two the interview questions because the little ones always give those endearing, sweet, innocent answers, but then after hearing their answers, I was hooked. I had to see what the others had to say too. And then, because I really couldn't stop myself, I asked my husband the questions too (about me, not his mom). I really am a glutton for punishment!
See what you think. . .
1. What is something mom always says to you?

• Olivia (4): That'll do donkey. (a quote from Shrek--funny, I do say that.)
• Patia (6): Be a good girl.
• Levi (10): Think before you ask questions.
• Madeline (13): Madeline!
• Jasmine (16): Clean your room!
• John : Honey, would you (fill in the blank)

2. What makes mom happy?

• Pretty much each answer had to do with them doing what they were supposed to do, particularly without being told to do it.
• Jasmine: Coffee (SO true!!)
• John: a clean house (which explains why I'm rarely happy?)

3. What makes mom sad?

• Olivia: not listening to you.
• Patia: when we don't obey. (are you beginning to see a pattern here?)

4. How does your mom make you laugh?

• Olivia: jokes.
• Patia: saying something really funny.
• Jasmine: sarcasm.
• John: she doesn't. (okay, now that one made me mad.)

5. What was your mom like as a child?

• Olivia: brown hair
• Patia: pretty, smart (she might be my favorite)
• John: sneaky (he's right. . .)

6. How old is your mom?

• Olivia: 6--I don't know--14?
• Patia: 32 (I love her more and more all the time.)
• Everyone else was close or right

7. How tall is your mom?

• Olivia: wait, I wanna measure you real quick! (she got a tape measure out of the drawer) 4! I say, "4 what?" She says, "just 4."
• Patia: (she also measured first) 30, just 30
• Everyone else guessed close. Inquiring minds want to know. . . 4'11".

8. What is her favorite thing to do?

• Olivia: exercise!
• Patia: do grocery lists, no workout! (yes to the first, no to the last)
• Madeline: correct people.
• Levi: cut out coupons

9. What does your mom do when you're not around?

• Olivia, Patia, Levi: clean up.
• Madeline: go out to eat. (when the numbers are down, we are more likely to go out.)
• Jasmine: celebrate!

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?

• Mostly the standard fare. . .model, rock star. . .yeah, right!
• Jasmine: Saving money.
• John: writing. (okay, he redeemed himself a little on this one, but he rarely reads anything I write.)

11. What is your mom really good at?

• Olivia: exercising.
• Patia: writing. (that's my girl!)
• Levi: smart shopping (good boy!)
• Madeline: see question #8 (she really does have my sense of humor)
• John: being a mom (he's just sucking up, now)

12. What is your mom not very good at?

• Olivia: painting. (she means that I don't let them paint or paint with them very often)
• Patia: playing games with us. ( I want to cry)
• Levi: sports in general. (that is true, sadly in my competition driven family, true. . .)
• Madeline: Guitar Hero. (also true, but I care not)
• Jasmine: Mowing. (true again, never ever done it!)
• John: having patience. (alas, true again.)
• Good news: we had to skip this one and come back to it. They all struggled to think of what I'm bad at. But all were true, some sad, all true.

13. What does your mom do for her job?

• Olivia: get toys for other little kids. (I'm Santa)
• Patia: work at a toy store.
• Older kids: they knew this one of course1
• John: play on the computer. (ass)

14. What is your mom's favorite food?

• Nothing fun to report here, they mostly picked things we had on our menu in the last week. Short attention spans, I suspect.

15. What makes you proud of your mom?

• Olivia: because you do your jobs good and that you love me. (she is sweet)
• Patia: you always love us. (I'm glad she knows this)
• Levi: you take us to church every Sunday. (Thank you! Finally a good answer out of these kids!)
• Madeline: you don't embarrass me in public. (Clearly I need to up my game!)
• Jasmine: your attempts to help me solve my relationship problems.
• John: being a Christian mom. (wife?)

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?

• Olivia: Cinderella (Cinderella! Cinderella! All I hear is Cinderella!)
• Patia: Daphne
• Madeline: Mr. Crab because he likes to save money. (Jazz says he's greedy. . .I'm not greedy.)
• Levi: Betty Boop (She's hot!)
• Jasmine: Belle because you like to read. (And because I'm pretty?)

17. What do you and your mom do together?

• Olivia: homeschool preschool
• Patia: read
• Levi & Jasmine: eat together
• Madeline: ride in the car
• John: go to church
• Bad news: based on how long it took them to come up with these answers, we aren't spending enough quality time together. Riding in the car? Are you kidding me?

18. How are you and your mom the same?

• Olivia: same skin
• Patia: we're girls
• Levi: we both like stuff organized
• Madeline: big lips
• Jasmine: we are stubborn (she is)
• John: we both want to raise good kids

19. How are you and your mom different?

• Olivia: we don't have the same hair
• Patia: you are bigger, I am smaller
• Levi: I like to play in the snow and you don't (cold and wet are not my thing)
• Madeline: I'm more free spirit, you are more regulation (she would have the free spirit thing totally in common with her mom)
• Jasmine: I'm (she) more argumentative (no argument here!)

20. How do you know your mom loves you?

• Olivia: kissing (I do love me some kisses!)
• Patia: by what you say
• Levi: you take care of me and provide me with stuff (Madeline echoed this)
• Jasmine: you keep me on track (I try)
• John: you put up with me (and he puts up with me)

21. Where is your mom's favorite place to go?

• Olivia: grocery shopping
• Patia: grocery store, now workout at church
• Levi: church or anywhere with Nancy (excellent point)
• Madeline: church

This survey revealed three major things to me:

1. I'm doing something right--they see that I value a dollar and want to make each one stretch. They have all helped me clip and sort coupons. They see the list making process and they know I do my best shopping BY MYSELF!
2. They value the basics. We provide for their needs, take them to church, and give kisses.
3. I need to have more fun with my kids. Their childhoods are flying by and I might just be too busy looking at grocery ads and making lists to really enjoy them. Painting, anyone?

Savings Alert!!

I know it is Thirsty Thursday and that I also mentioned something about a hiatus, but I have a SAVINGS ALERT to share with you! If someone has told you there is no such thing as a free lunch, then they were wrong! Okay, well this is an almost free lunch. You do have to purchase a soft drink. I have included a link to the coupon below. The best part of this deal is unlike other free offers, there is not a limit to how many you can print and our Arby's here in Franklin has accepted multiple coupons on the same purchase. What a great way to feed your family on the cheap! Dave Ramsey would be so proud!

Free Arby's Sandwich!

Word-Free Wednesday

Ahhhh. . . .Spring!

Okay, well yesterday seemed like Spring! Today, not so much!

At least it is sunny!

I know it is Word-Free Wednesday and all, but I would be remiss if I didn't explain my absence absence. I know the 4 or 5 people who actually follow along must be absolutely beside themselves. And poor Pam in Canada. . . Anyway, as I have already revealed in my Dirty Little Secret Pic, my life is a mess. Okay, maybe not my whole life, but my house is for sure! So, I am taking a little hiatus from blogging and Facebook to focus on getting my home shaped up. I'm actually pretty excited about the process! A friend mentioned the other day that they don't keep a lot of stuff in their home and what they keep, they use. How refreshing! I want to live like that! So, over the next few weeks, (who am I kidding? Months!!!) I will be cleaning up and clearing out! Since one of Dave Ramsey's favorite sayings is, "sell so much stuff your kids think they are next!" this new goal of mine will fit in nicely with what we are learning in FPU. I will still do a post here and there as writing is very therapeutic for me, but just don't look forward to something everyday!

In case I haven't said so, thank you to my good friends who have been following along! It is so much fun to share the chaos of my life with you. Again, it really is like therapy for me! A weird, voyeuristic, free sort of therapy!

Financial Peace Friday

I'm really enjoying to whole budget process! What could feel like a straight jacket actually feels full of freedom. Sure I have to stop and think about every penny I spend, but the good news is, I stop and think about every penny I spend! And, here's a newsflash--we actually have enough money to pay our bills and provide for the basic needs of our family. Will we be taking any extravagant vacations this summer? Probably (definitely) not! But, more good news--if we choose to save for one, we can go on one! See how I can feel free?


"The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty." ~ Proverbs 21:5


One more added bonus this week: Kids doing chores! Don't misunderstand, my kids have always had chores in a very loose sense of the word. But now, thanks to a written budget, we can pay them a commission (allowance) and hopefully instill some of the money management skills we are acquiring. It is my hearts desire that they not be in the position we are in when they are 30ish. Also, I do not want them to live with me forever. . .


So far, thanks to our tax check, some new found discipline, and God's immense grace, here is what we have accomplished:

1. Payed off our van. ($4252)


2. For the first time ever we have a savings ($1000)


3. We are using a budget!

And now, just for fun--a common sense approach to getting out of debt!
My Face book friends have already seen this, but it is so worth sharing again! Remember, buying kids you can't afford doesn't count, so don't beat yourself up if you are in debt up to your eyeballs because you adopted a couple of cuties.




via videosift.com

Thirsty Thursday

Remember not the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways; according to your love remember me, for you are good, O LORD. ~ Psalm 25:7

When I first read this verse my heart sorta skipped a beat. I know there isn't a wasted word in the Bible, but some seem more factual and some really connect. When I read these words, they really connected with me. I can recall so many "sins of my youth", some of which make me blush now just thinking about them. I told you last week that I was sorta a lush in college, but that really started early in high school and lead to my arrest for possession of alcohol by a minor my senior year. I snuck out of my parents house, crossed state lines when I was supposed to be at a friends home just around the corner, smoked cigarettes (and a couple of them smelled sorta funny. . .) swore like a sailor, and lived with 2 different guys before I was married (gasp. . .) so, you can safely assume that the white wedding dress was a bit of stretch for me. Alas, because my mother reads this and because this is not t.m.i. Tuesday, this will conclude the airing of the dirty laundry portion of my post and I will just skip to my concluding point.

I am forgiven. Maybe not by some of the people I offended along the way, and possibly not by my parents, but by whom it counts, I AM FORGIVEN. God sees me according to His love, which is perfect, and clean, and pure, and GOOD. So, even though I have never been worthy of it, I am forgiven.

"Blessed are they whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord will never count against him. ~Psalm 32:1,2

If you believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of the Living God, and that He died on a cross and rose again, your "youthful" sins, or the ones you just committed five minutes ago, are forgiven too!

Drink that in!

Word-Free Wednesday

The Great Chili Debate:

Is this the perfect bowl of chili or does it need something else?

Take the poll or leave a comment!

Not enough info leads to t.m.i. Tuesday

Some peoples say, "I hate confrontation--I'm not good at it." I am not one of those people. I don't start fights on the street or anything, I'm just not afraid to give my opinion or speak my mind. I know, shocking, right? But, I do have this bad habit of avoiding a conversation that might lead to a no answer from someone in the position to tell me no. Here's how this usually works--I'm planning on going out with girlfriends for dinner, but instead of just telling my husband about it, I write it on the calendar which I leave open on the counter, for anyone (i.e. my husband) to see. Then a few days before the event, I casually mention it and has no idea what I'm talking about and I blame him for not looking at the calendar. I do whatever it is I planned to do and in my book, he can't be mad because he should have looked at the calendar. Very passive-aggressive of me, don't you think? Now I'm not advocating this style of "communication"--it is just what I do. Well, let me just say that this back fired in a big way on Sunday night. Which in turn lead to my Manic Monday crashing right into my t.m.i. Tuesday. Please read on--this is after all a cautionary tale.

If you have been a faithful follower, you remember from my Inaugural Post that I blogged about setting up a Facebook page last Sunday. Clearly I'm not keeping secrets--I POSTED IT ON THE WEB FOR ALL THE WORLD TO READ. ( Hello, Pam in Canada!) You see the similarity between my calendar on the bar and the web posting. . .well, he doesn't look at our calendar and he doesn't read my blog either. His problem, right? Well not really. See, I already knew how he felt about Facebook, but instead of talking with him and showing him what it is all about, I announced to the world on my blog I had Facebook and neglected to discuss it with him. This time my shenanigans really came back to bite me! He was mad! Super mad! Didn't tell me goodbye before work or make my coffee for me on Monday morning kinda mad. All day yesterday I felt horrible. Couldn't eat, couldn't focus, cried, sulked, suspected my own husband of being up to know good himself--just another Manic Monday!

So what is the moral to this story? Just be up front even when you know you might not enjoy the conversation so much. It saves so much hurt, and in this case suspicion, in the long run. This by the way is the same thing I have told my older children NUMEROUS times. In fact, I have a special little word for what you do when you don't tell the whole truth and that word is LIE. That's right--not a fib, not an omission, not even an innocent act of passive aggressiveness--it is a lie. I will not be a liar. When it comes to communicating with the ones you love the most, there is no such thing as t.m.i.

Because you indulged me by reading my cautionary tale of woe, here is treat for you from the '80's.

You gotta love the '80's!

Something Fun for Sunday!

Today our sermon at church was one in a series from II Peter 1:5-6. The topic was self-control. Sounds uplifting right? Well, actually it was! Sometimes I trick myself into believing that self-control or will power is a trait that you either possess or you don't, but that just isn't true. It is a choice we make. A choice to control our own selfish desires, however natural they seem, and submit to the will of the One greater than us, Jesus Christ.

My two greatest tests of self-control come in the form of anger and food. Since this is supposed to be a fun post, I'm only going to cover the food issue today. If you want to learn more about my anger issues, catch me when I least expect it promptly after my kids have been disobedient. You will probably see first hand how I struggle to control my anger. Anyway, back to the food. What average lady doesn't struggle with food issues? Now, my problem is compounded by the fact that my husband has started to get serious about being fit and healthy. You know what happens when a man decides to lose a few pounds--they just fall right off! Meanwhile, I've been eating reasonably well, drinking nearly no Coke, and working out three times a week for the last two years. What do I have to show for it? A few more muscles and a few less pounds, but nothing drastic. What am I lacking? You guessed it--self-control. I often eat (healthy things) when I'm not hungry or eat too much (healthy food) even though I'm full. So, after today's sermon, maybe next time I'll think before I eat!

Wondering where the fun stuff is? Check out this video below by Anita Renfro. She is super funny and I think you will see how this relates! Have some fun this Sunday!

Save Big Saturday

I have always loved a deal--I learned it from my mother. I remember her using coupons and shopping wherever she thought her money would go the farthest. I also recall that all those free food samples during a Saturday shopping trip at Cub Foods were "lunch." Very thrifty, indeed, Mom! She (and my step dad) has a big garden every year that provides a lot of food for the entire family and they buy meat in bulk--like a whole cow at a time. For a few years, she tortured us with some homemade things that just couldn't compete with the real deal. The best example was ketchup. If you have never tasted it--DON'T! I don't care how much money you can save by making it, it is not worth it. Somethings are better left to the professionals! Although she doesn't use as many coupons now and Jim does a lot of the quick trips for day-to day needs, she still loves a bargain. Kohl's can attest to that! And, since she has flirted with the idea of making everyday products that will be a bargain and possibly better for the family, I am dedicating this post to her!
Who knew you could make your own laundry detergent? Probably my mom, and definitely a mom of 18, Michelle Dugger. That is where this particular recipe came from. You may have seen them on a talk show or their own show on TLC. Anyway, the real inspiration for this Save Big post was not Michelle Dugger, but a sweet Christian sister named Samantha. Before I go any further, in the interest of full disclosure, I have to admit that when I heard talk of her making her own laundry detergent, there was a little bit of snickering involved. I mean seriously, who does this? But, after reading her email and speaking with her (and smelling her) about how CHEAP and EASY it is (two of my favorite qualities in ANYTHING), I decided it was not something to poke fun at, but rather to try. So, that's what I'm gonna do! You can still make fun of us if you want to, but when I'm stock piling money instead of the cheapest detergent I can find with a coupon, who will be laughin' then?

Here is the recipe, taken straight from the Dugger Family site:

TIPS FOR LAUNDRY SOAP: We use Fels-Naptha bar soap in the homemade soap recipes, but you can use Ivory, Sunlight, Kirk's Hardwater Castile or Zote bars. Don't use heavily perfumed soaps. We buy Fels-Naptha by the case from our local grocer or online. Washing Soda and Borax can normally be found on the laundry or cleaning aisle. Recipe cost approx. $2.
Homemade Liquid Laundry Soap- Front or top load machine
4 Cups hot tap water

1 Fels-Naptha soap bar

1 Cup Washing Soda

½ Cup Borax
- Grate bar of soap and add to saucepan with water. Stir continually over medium-low heat until soap dissolves and is melted.
-Fill a 5 gallon bucket half full of hot tap water. Add melted soap, washing soda and Borax. Stir well until all powder is dissolved. Fill bucket to top with more hot water. Stir, cover and let sit overnight to thicken.
-Stir and fill a used, clean, laundry soap dispenser half full with soap and then fill rest of way with water. Shake before each use. (will gel)
-Optional: You can add 10-15 drops of essential oil per 2 gallons. Add once soap has cooled. Ideas: lavender, rosemary, tea tree oil.
-Yield: Liquid soap recipe makes 10 gallons.
-Top Load Machine- 5/8 Cup per load (Approx. 180 loads)
-Front Load Machines- ¼ Cup per load (Approx. 640 loads)

Samantha told me the whole process took her 15 minutes and she had no problem finding the ingredients.

Now, for some math. . . They say each batch will cost you approximately $2 and yield 180 loads for a top load machine. Most recently I have been using Purex because it is cheap--around $2.99 for 32 loads. But, I'm betting the average person spends $4-$5 on their detergent and really fancy people are buying Tide at closer to $7 a pop. So, let's just say we spend an average of $5 each on 5 bottles of detergent, we will be washing about 160-180 loads of laundry in a top loading machine for $25. That saves you $23--okay, that's good! I happen to have a front loading machine, so based on the same assumptions of cost, etc., I would buy 20 bottles at $5 each to wash 640 loads costing me $100. I can look forward to saving $98! Yeah! That's a lot of money! Granted, these are estimates, but I really believe this is going to be a money saver. I'm also betting it will be easier on the skin and on the washing machine too! Due to the length of this post, I'm not even going to talk about the options for fabric softener, but let me just say that today I have done a little vinegar experiment--substituting it for fabric softener--and although my clothes don't smell perfumy, they don't have any lingering sweat smells common to work out clothes. Check out the Dugger Family Site for tips on fabric softener and if you are a proof-is-in-the-pudding kinda gal like me, smell Samantha at church some time--I'm sure she won't mind!

Financial Peace Friday

As I have briefly touched on in other postings, John and I began taking the Financial Peace University course at our church about 2 weeks ago. So far, it feels like an extended pep talk from Dave Ramsey. While it has been entertaining, I'm ready for some meat and potatoes! Thanks to our tax check, we are ready to accomplish his "Baby Step #1" which is $1000 in an emergency savings fund. So, we are gearing up to accomplish "Baby Step #2" which is pay off your debts in order from lowest to highest. The rational is that you will experience some early victories that will keep you motivated. For us, this is easy (well, sorta) because we only 2 major debts.

1. My student loans, which I am behind on by a few payments. The interest rate on these is low at about 7%, but now that we can have a plan, I'm so excited to watch this debt disappear.


2. A fairly sizable loan my parents made to us when we were buying our house and a past debt of my husband's threatened to end our home-buying dream completely. (Thanks, Mom & Jim!) I'm also thrilled to be able to start paying them back on a regular basis. They have been so generous and they only send threatening letters and make harassing calls about half as much as other debt collectors. They are the BEST!

The most important aspect of this new process will begin on Sunday, March 1st. This is when the new budget goes into place and we begin to record EVERY DOLLAR WE SPEND. I just love a new beginning and I'm anxious for progress. I'm counting on those of you who see me out and about to keep me accountable! (That means you too, Kira! Now I really NEED to win your books!)
Just in case you are like us, living pay check to pay check, NO SAVINGS, not much in retirement accounts, making no real head way on your debt..., I encourage you to look into this program. Clearly, I can't say it works from my own experience, but I have seen how it worked for friends of ours who paid off, like, $80,000 worth of debt in around 2 years. I also have faith that this will work for us because this program is Biblically based. With that in mind, let me leave you with a scripture that we have discussed repeatedly in the last few weeks:

"The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender." Proverbs 22:7

You can also read "servant" as slave. Who are you a slave to today? If you seek Peace in your life, this is a good place to start.