As Valentine's day approaches it makes me think of love. Not the jewelry, candy, and flower buying kind of love, but real, deep, true, ABIDING love. Thankfully, I have a fantastic husband. I am blessed beyond measure that he loves me. But this isn't even about that kind of love. This is about the kind of love that I was actually searching for when I found him (my husband) and then together we found the truest form of love in HIM. And that is the love I had been searching for my whole life.Let me preface this next part by saying I have a wonderful, loving, earthly father. I couldn't have asked for a better one. And I always knew he loved me, he told me all the time. But what I didn't get from him was that affirmation that I was cherished and beautiful and worthy. Beginning when I was a teenager I sought proof of these qualities in others, other young men that is. I mistakenly confused physical intimacy with love. I believed that I could earn love and I could be duped into believing just about anything if given just the right compliment. Honestly, my relationship with John even started the same way. I was running from one failing relationship to one that gave me butterflies (again). Despite the fact that our relationship didn't begin under ideal circumstances, God knew something we didn't. And like with many of our missteps, He turns them into a success and reveals His glory.
When I first heard the song How He Loves performed by David Crowder Band I instantly liked it. Then, in one quiet moment, when I really listened to the words and applied them to my life, it changed me. I had that same overwhelming feeling I had as a giddy school girl in anticipation of my first kiss from a boy I thought I loved (desperately). The same more grown up and realistic feeling I had on my wedding day just before I walked down the isle anticipating being seen by the man I would spend the rest of my life with. Girls, you know this feeling...the butterflies in your stomach, an anxious ache from deep with in, it makes you want to giggle and cry all at the same time. Play the video and REALLY listen if you haven't before. I chose this version with Kim Walker because hearing the song in a woman's voice makes me even more certain of the intimate, deep, loving relationship I have with my God and my Saviour. Plus, her voice is just plain cool.
"He is jealous for me. Loves like a hurricane, I am tree. Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy."
Seriously? HE is jealous for me? I've had possessive boyfriends before and in an unhealthy way, that sort of felt right. But here, the King of Kings is jealous for my time and adoration. Unbelievable, but true. And to know with every ounce of my being that He looks upon me with true affection and unsurpassable love...I'm blown away.
"If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking.So Heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss,and my heart turns violently inside of my chest,Drowning never seemed so pleasurable and I wouldn't dream of coming up for air. Regrets? Sure, I'm not proud of some of my choices, buy why bother maintaining them? My true love doesn't.
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets,When I think about, the way…"
Do you know this kind of love? If you don't, you haven't met the person you belong to yet and you haven't truly encountered God yet either. The really beautiful part? All you have to do is ask Him...Be mine? No yucky candy hearts or expensive flowers required. Are you still searching? Look no further than your Saviour to be your PERFECT Valentine.
