Not enough info leads to t.m.i. Tuesday

Some peoples say, "I hate confrontation--I'm not good at it." I am not one of those people. I don't start fights on the street or anything, I'm just not afraid to give my opinion or speak my mind. I know, shocking, right? But, I do have this bad habit of avoiding a conversation that might lead to a no answer from someone in the position to tell me no. Here's how this usually works--I'm planning on going out with girlfriends for dinner, but instead of just telling my husband about it, I write it on the calendar which I leave open on the counter, for anyone (i.e. my husband) to see. Then a few days before the event, I casually mention it and has no idea what I'm talking about and I blame him for not looking at the calendar. I do whatever it is I planned to do and in my book, he can't be mad because he should have looked at the calendar. Very passive-aggressive of me, don't you think? Now I'm not advocating this style of "communication"--it is just what I do. Well, let me just say that this back fired in a big way on Sunday night. Which in turn lead to my Manic Monday crashing right into my t.m.i. Tuesday. Please read on--this is after all a cautionary tale.

If you have been a faithful follower, you remember from my Inaugural Post that I blogged about setting up a Facebook page last Sunday. Clearly I'm not keeping secrets--I POSTED IT ON THE WEB FOR ALL THE WORLD TO READ. ( Hello, Pam in Canada!) You see the similarity between my calendar on the bar and the web posting. . .well, he doesn't look at our calendar and he doesn't read my blog either. His problem, right? Well not really. See, I already knew how he felt about Facebook, but instead of talking with him and showing him what it is all about, I announced to the world on my blog I had Facebook and neglected to discuss it with him. This time my shenanigans really came back to bite me! He was mad! Super mad! Didn't tell me goodbye before work or make my coffee for me on Monday morning kinda mad. All day yesterday I felt horrible. Couldn't eat, couldn't focus, cried, sulked, suspected my own husband of being up to know good himself--just another Manic Monday!

So what is the moral to this story? Just be up front even when you know you might not enjoy the conversation so much. It saves so much hurt, and in this case suspicion, in the long run. This by the way is the same thing I have told my older children NUMEROUS times. In fact, I have a special little word for what you do when you don't tell the whole truth and that word is LIE. That's right--not a fib, not an omission, not even an innocent act of passive aggressiveness--it is a lie. I will not be a liar. When it comes to communicating with the ones you love the most, there is no such thing as t.m.i.

Because you indulged me by reading my cautionary tale of woe, here is treat for you from the '80's.

You gotta love the '80's!